extravagant waiting

What looked like a simple 20 odd steps, turned into a trip right through the middle of Philly. So middle - that we even saw the, "WELCOME TO CENTRAL PHILADELPHIA" sign as we went around a rotary with pretty landscaped flowers.

Haha.

This was our recent adventure, this past Monday, as we headed to Atlantic City, New Jersey where Sean had a work convention. Please - in all honestly, raise your hand if you've attempted to follow the very well known Mr. Mapquest (and do note how mapquest has been given the "mr". enough said.) Sean and I have been together for close to five years, married for half of that and we are just now able to make it
through a trip that requires direction and still be willing to smile at each other. Men + directions + traffic + stress + EVERYTHING else usually = out to be a few hours of silence. However, despite the directions, traffic, stress and everything else... we've learned to bite our tongues and then speak in love. Sean was driving this time, so I was the one biting my tongue. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. How do you wait? What zips through your cavern of thoughts as you wait? Does it echo, do emotions battle it out with pistol and sword?

On a deeper level, I am waiting. I'm simply awful at it, but I have no other choice BUT to wait. As Psalm 130:5-6 says, "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." God has one end of the rope, my soul the other. My heart stands in between waiting for the need to jump the rope again. I am waiting. Its like therapy to repeat that phrase, forgive me for sounding so repetitive.

So during the stop and go of traffic, I wait. I wanted to say on many occasions, 'you are the one who printed off mapquest, at the last minute nonetheless!' or... 'maybe if you would have listened when I said, this exit'. But I bit down hard and waited and we made it with smiles.

There have been moments when I've felt like the Lord is going to fast and I feel dragged by the rope, other times I've literally had to drag my rope as I defiantly strived for another direction. I've tripped on the rope, I think He has even tied me to a tree as He waited for a changed heart and eager feet. Where are you at in life right now? How thin is your rope?



I am sad to announce that Delaney saw the ocean for the very first time this week, at one year of age. I say - sad - because she was born not even 10minutes away from the Atlantic Coast and yet its taken a year along with a business trip to get her there. I have so many fond memories of the beach. When she saw the water, this wise look came across her face. Almost as if she was putting two and two together. Whatever those two and two things might be, I have no clue but nonetheless she loved it. We joyfully said 'hello bird' to every seagull that thought we had food.

Here we have Delaney,who has magically disappeared in the carpet. You can't see her, I know, but I wanted to take a picture to show her one day how well she use to play hide and seek. She is such fun. Overall it was a good trip to the Trump Taj Mahal. The three of us went out to eat with Sean's boss and husband Monday night, their treat. The bill came to over $300 and they did not bat a single eyelash. Oh the lifestyle of the rich and the famous. Tuesday, Delaney and I had stack and stacks of chocolate chip pancakes delivered right to us. Then we were off for the day with books, and beaches and all new experiences. Sean was done with his trade show around 4pm that evening and back home we came. It was very nice to disappear into the world for a few hours. To be surrounded by God's grandeur...minus distraction and unnecessary noise was divine.

I pray you all have a great weekend and until the next sporadic entry...promise to continue waiting with smiles.

my heart...it walks along side of me.

Can you think back to a time where your heart starting walking outside of your body? My guess is, all of you parents will be nodding in agreement with me when I say, 'child'. Delaney grace was in fact born a year ago yesterday. That seems to be the focus of my blog entries lately and its a given as to why. My heart is honestly in the shape of a 12 month, 1 day old child. Her eyes are mine, her nose is mine...her diva attitude and sweet smile...mostly mine. My child, my heart. Last night I had a rush of emotions flood through my eyes as I held her in the dark before bedtime. We have many traditions and one of them is me praying for her as she lays in my arms. I remember how hard the first few months were with her, she being a colicky baby, I wondered when my baby would be happy. I knew I adored and loved her, but that "can't imagine life without her" bond was not quite there. Last night as I held her, it hit me harder than any other pivotal moment. She is mine. She isn't going anywhere, Lord willing and from now until the future...my heart shall be taken a different mode of transportation. I have SO many things to be grateful for. So many and yet I am still the queen of negative thoughts. I am working on this with my Lord God but I wanted to publicly let everyone know how grateful I am for what has been given me.

Through an old friend, I came across this story. I do not know them, I do not know anything really about them other than what I have read. They went to Liberty and they are friends with a friend of mine, that's about all the connection we have. However - their story touched my heart in an indescribable way and I'm sure they won't mind me making a link to have you also read their story. Pray for them. Pray for the Lord to continue working in their lives and hearts and that peace would continue to fall down like rain. http://65roses4pattysue.com/

Delaney as I said, is one. We had an eventful day which included Mommy driving around like a mad-woman trying to get 'legalness' taken care of. Car insurance, PA drivers license, registration, inspection, brakes....etc. In car seat, out of car seat, in stroller, out stroller, up 3 flights down 3 flights, "oh crap forgot my wallet" back up 3 flights. Baby is hungry...put on hold...it was one of those days. But last night we had yummy chicken parmesan and a pretty purple cupcake. :0) We shall truly celebrate March 15th when the fam may attend. :0) But with many pictures and a few fun new traditions made...we said goodnight to a precious healthy baby/toddler girl.

Jeremiah 29:11 -
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”



hmm...i guess we don't smile on birthdays? lol.

Complete Blindness

HELLO.
Today is a murky day. The rain drops are dripping, the sky is cloudy and colorless, wetness engulfs your inner-sunshine the moment you step out the door. Ha. I'm so dramatic, huh.

We had an absolutely gorgeous day yesterday. It was 65 degrees out, sun high in the sky, no cottonclouds in sight! Delaney and I went to our favorite 'Bethlehem Township Community Center' and walked for a good hour. And in that hour of exercise, inspiration started to flow. If only I could have my own personal scribe that sat on my shoulder as I went about my day. There were many moments in our walk, where the sun was just too bright. But the brightness was welcomed, I felt happy in the rays. So I closed my eyes and continued to walk, (Delaney doesn't know this - shhh.) I walked down the path, with my eyes closed and yet still felt a peace and a calmness. It was such an inspiring moment, that I laughed to myself. How the Lord speaks to me is often in simple ways as these...why do I doubt His presence?! I love that feeling of complete blindness, from the sun so why do I so strongly DISLIKE not knowing what Jesus is doing in my life? Why can I bask in the rays of a burning ball of fire and second guess and doubt and writhe with unhappiness about the unknown of my life directed by the creator and provider?

Yes. I am quite human. I was inspired in many other ways - but for now, thats all I have to share.

On a more updating note, DELANEY TURNS ONE YEARS OLD ON THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! To think, she has been in my life for 19 months now is amazing. That I've been a mom for a year is even more so. And that I haven't broken her yet, is just the very best of it all. We hope for a special little party just the three of us, on Thursday:0) She won't know any different, but it means alot to me.

Besides that, we're living from day to day. We're overcoming hurdles despite their disappointing outcomes and pressing on. We pray that you are all well and spending time in the word. I often have shared with friends to strive for red eyes and raw knees but in church this past weekend, I was enlightened to strive for something even more. Forget the raw knees...you want to pray whether life is good or rocky...strive for camel calloused knees. Okay friends?

In Christ,
Kyla

Delaney and Quinn, Meghan and Todd's son. We were over for dinner one night and Delaney was loving the 'baby'. Although he is only 3 months younger, Delaney was confident she was not the baby.

Nothing New to Report.

So I'm another year older - how fun. I hate the number 30 and am thankful I'm not as close to it as a few of my friends and family members;0)
Nonetheless, I was spoiled rotten and loved it secretively. There really isn't anything fantastic to share other than the new things my unique baybay is doing. She is a riot on most occaassiioonnss! A year old in less than 2 weeks, my how time flies. She experienced her first snow not to long ago, perplexed, inquisitive and just plain silly with the flakes as they fell. Oh to see through her eyes for a mere moment. We are enjoying these times with her. They grow too fast. Much love to you all and know that we miss each one of you. Please - PLEASE feel free to drop an email!
In Christ,
The Dougherty's

refiner's fire

thank you Lord for the many gifts you've given me. thank you for my beautiful daughter who brings me joy beyond recognition. thank you for a husband who unconditionally loves me. thank you for your continual patience and forgiveness as i can't seem to grasp the depth of your love. thank you for our health, for our family, for the things i take for granted. thank you Lord. i lift up my hands and sing praises to you alone.

amen.

he will quiet you with his love. zephaniah 3:17

do you ever feel like you are not being heard? frequently i have conversations with my husband that often include me and myself...in other words - he's not completely hearing me. oh how we women know the importance of a silent room filled with zero distraction, when important talks are needed. joking aside, i adore my husband and we work on communication like everybody else.

but why do i feel as though my God and i have the similar communication struggles? the Lord God is quite beyond any husband on this earth. he always has time to hear and listen. he is God?! this is me yet again *trying to shove God into my tiny understandable box. (*note the 'trying' part.)

God's tender heart must often ache listening to our sad, complaining cries.Our
weak, impatient hearts cry out because we fail to see through ourtear-blinded,
shortsighted eyes that is for our own sakes that He doesnot answer at all
or that He answers in a way we believe is less thanthe best. In fact, the
silences of Jesus are as eloquent as His words andmay be a sign not of His
disapproval but of His approval and His way ofproviding a deeper blessing for
you. ~L.B Cowman

the Giver seems to be with holding his blessings these days. which is testing me beyond sanity. i must choose every moment, even now.

choose to learn the mystery of his silence or fall apart in my despair.choose to praise in the storms or sink in the thrashing waves.

choose to better love and know this always listening Father or become angry and doubting

despite the silence - the vast unknown - the confronting misery..."Jesus did not answer a word." (Matt.15:23), i will press on. believing in a deeper blessing. today i choose believing my God loves me enough to be silent.

what do you choose?

shocking report

i'm in the mood for all lowercase typage. so this is what you get.

i'm looking at the cover of one of my new fashion mags, one of the blurbs is, "shocking repot: lost girls of the jungle". i'd like to metaphorically believe this article is about me.

you see - i've been swinging from vine to vine these days. i feel as though life is passing as quickly as i release one to the next as i continue my wild swing freenzey through the jungle. someday i feel lost, other days i feel grounded and then there are those days where it doesn't even matter where i am, as long as i get that next vine.

are you a lost girl of the jungle?

i've been gently reminded as i aimlessly swing through these trees, of the Lord's love. whether my sense of direction is confident - my navigational tool is effectively work, i feel His love fall down like rain. "for though we have never yet seen God, when we love each other God lives in us and his love within us grow ever stronger." 1john4:12. think of someone that you love with intensity beyond description. that love is from and of God. we love because He first loved us. God is love. love love love.

so if you ever feel as though you are lost in my jungle, swinging along with me? remember. as you hang, embrace that love.

Sinking Kyla

I know. I know. Two posts in less than a week is a R.E.C.O.R.D for me. But tonight during devotions, I was convicted in a matter that I've passed over many times with - no conviction. Prayer. What makes a good prayer? A long drawn out prayer? A prayer with emotions, tears, laughs. A prayer filled with scripture? How about a prayer that uses words from the King James Version of our Bibles? Nah. As Charles Spurgeon said ever so eloquently tonight, "a short prayer is long enough." A short prayer filled with complete FAITH that our God will accomplish what concerns us. If we are praying without faith, then truly, what is the purpose of our prayer? That's like me asking my husband to take the trash out, believing that he'll let it over flow and eventually fill up the kitchen floor. (Hmm, perhaps not the best analogy...but do you catch what I'm saying?)

You see, I had an epiphany this evening in the fog of my tiredness. I am Peter. I am Peter stepping out on the water, occasionally believing that I won't sink and then just like that I am waist deep. Praying. And only when I pray with pure faith, will I start rising out of the thrashing waves. Prayer is not a fox hole to run and hide in during the tough times. Its not a huge willow tree to flock to and rest my wings, prayer is a devoted relationship with a heavenly Father who longs to have a loving relationship. He wants to be involved in every aspect of my life. So now, I must take this obvious yet so true 'light bulb' moment and put it into practice.

Pray with faith. Short or long, but with faith.

Press on! And stop sinking.

Kyla