butterflies and ants and such

i see her sitting
with such a joy
trying to make
this ant a toy

laughter and uncertainty
fill both eyes
she looks to me
and starts to cry

for my expression
was filled with disgust
and she was determined
to give ant her trust

a fling of the insect
and a laugh at its flight
her giggles to me
made the memory just right

then a cool breeze blows
as the sun shines down
and for that moment
again peace is found

there are days when words fail to flow - others, i speak in lyrics. haha. we are enjoying this 75 degree weather. i do however, fear my allergies are becoming worse in old age. ;) i have never, EVER sneezed 6 times in a row and not even 5minutes ago - did i do just that. delaney and i spend a lot of time at the park. we love being outside. yesterday when sean got home from work - we took off for the park right down the street. as he logistically placed the blanket facing the basketball courts...delaney and i took in the wonder and glory around us. i love watching her face as she explores. it usually goes like this.

step 1: get right down in it
step 2: rip it out of the ground, off the carpet, blanket...etc and hold it - passing it back and forth , allowing both hands have a go at the texture
step 3: give a sniff and then insert in mouth
step 4: mommy says no, take it out, try to hide it so it isn't taken away
step 5: insert in mouth and TRY to give it a chew...and repeat

the mouth is the final test. its funny, how we all mom's experience the same thing - at different times. and the life lessons - for US - vary. as delaney is seeking her independence in exploring things, i find myself in a weird hovering/you can do it....situation. as she stands on her own (holding onto furniture) i do the hand behind back, step away, hand holding belt buckle, step away...i'm afraid if she falls. the last thing i want is for her to get hurt and fear something, prevent her from wanting to try it again. and then i hear the Lord saying - ahhh, yes. how very 'cute', that you are now getting a better visual of my daily walk with YOU, kyla. i know the Lord doesn't fear what may happen in my concern, etc. but i do know how desperately He loves me, how he wants to see me succeed, to be happy, be independent in Him alone.

as i said, the life lessons are flowing. my feelings of inadequacy as a parent, now roll into my spiritual life. :) haha. the responsibility i have in raising this child in the light of the Lord, is great. the responsibility to be salt and light in this world is even greater. i have an amazing gift to share with lost people...i have the gift of love and that light that can shine even in the darkest of darks. i have Jesus as my savior and i must share.

i'm a girl of tangents and if you followed that thought process, congratulations! ;) i must hit the road here, much to do. but may you have a blessed day...

very curious little girl. she was also just getting over a cold:( sad. she had a stye in left eye, i have never had a stye..in my life and in 14months of life...she has.